Amphibian Girl
by animefreak72
Summary: Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke are all now 15. One's evil. Two are not. This is My Odd version of their reunion. This is my first fic and not meant for any Sasuke Loverz. Warning: I diss da Hay out of Sasuke! Chapter one up. Chapter 2. up!
1. Amphibian Girl

_**Amphibian Girl**_

Note: This is my version of Sasuke,Sakura's and Naruto's encounter after Sasuke left for Orochimaru and they are now all 15 years of age.

Sasuke: _Walks out to Sakura and Naruto in his demon form smiling in triumph._

Sasuke: Aha, I see you have grown...

Naruto: Aha, I see you have changed Sex's...

Sakura: Your...Uchiha Sasuke...ne?

Sasuke: (_Growling)_ Baka! of course I'm Uchiha Sasuke! And that's the last thing you're going to hear before you all die! This change is what I've always wanted...this feeling...I have it now! No one can defeat me!

Naruto: So you always wanted to be a crossdresser?

Sakura: Ewwwww...demo...then again, I think it was kind of obvious. All he ever thought about was Itachi.

Naruto: Eh? But he's his brother.

Sakura: I have heard of some freaks that fell in love with their siblings. OMG! Eww! I fell in love with a gay man! Smacks herself in the head Sakura you baka.

Sasuke: I'M NOT GAY!

Naruto: Your desire was to become a girl with webbed feet growing off your back...nope...I don't think even Itachi would find that very attractive.

Sakura: (_Nods her head in agreement)_

Sasuke: (_Biting his tongue_) I am talking about P-O-W-E-R you baka's! I am _not_ Gay-

Sakura: (_Cuts him off_) Then why'd you reject me?

Sasuke: ...

Naruto: (_Starts laughing hysterically)_ Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan! Listen to this! dramatic music plays in background "The Amphibian Girl" What ever is left of brain sold separately.

Sakura: Laughs

Sasuke: I'll kill You! Come. Let us fight Uzumaki Naruto!

Naruto: Sorry, I don't hit girls with webbed feet, it might lower their self-esteem

Sakura: If you have 4 feet how do you know which ones to walk on?

Sasuke: (_Growling_)

Naruto: that's a good question, but what I'm wondering is how he thinks purple lipstick goes with burn skin? I mean, MAYBE if were still human colour..demo...now...

Sasuke: (_growling louder)_

Sakura: theirs more I wanna ask but it looks like "she" wants to fight you Naruto.

Naruto: Nah, I'll let the ducks deal with him

Sakura: O.K. So, Amphibian Girl. Do you mind telling us where your future body host is? I need to have a chat with him.

Sasuke: You will not go beyond this point

Naruto: your kidding me? You're two-timing Itachi! Bad bad Amphibian girl!

Sasuke: I am NOT two-timing Itachi!

Sakura: HA! So you admit you love him!

Sasuke: NO-

Naruto: HA! I KNEW IT!

Sasuke: Damnit! I am NOT an Amphibian Girl and I am NOT in love with Itachi or Orochimaru-sama! So shut you mouth's and fight me!

Sakura: o0o0o0! He's hitting on you Naruto.

Naruto: Sorry, not my type

Sasuke: I never said I wanted to go out with YOU!

Sakura: to bad Amphibian Girl . I was your last chance for a date but you rejected me..so now we'll see who's gonna knock who out. (_Cracks Knuckles)_

Sasuke: (_Turns to Sakura with a look of surprise)_

Naruto: GO GO! SAKURA-CHAN!

Sasuke: I don't want to fight you.

Sakura: Sorry, Naruto already rejected you.

Sasuke: NOO!

Naruto: Awww! He's depressed, how kawaii. Don't worry, I'm sure Orochimaru will give you a nice big hug later, tell him to watch out for the legs though.

Sasuke: You...(_Growl_)

Sakura: if your a duck they why the hell are you growling?

Sasuke: I'll kill you!

Naruto: now how many times have you said that now?

Sakura: o0 Sasuke! All that time in a cave has really improved your vocabulary skills so much!

Sasuke: Oh Thank yo-...ARE YOU INSULTING ME?

Naruto: oh wow, it took you that long? (_chuckling_)

Sakura: Here, Amphibian Girl, I'm just checking but, what's 2+2?

Sasuke:...

Sasuke:...

Sasuke:...

Naruto: Jeez! I can figure that out faster than you!

Sasuke: Shut up!

Sakura: And now comes the denial stage in "I'm a Baka because I rejected Sakura"

Sasuke: I don't care about you right now! Go peel some apples!

Naruto: uh-oh

(Note:Sasuke is referring to Episode 107 of Naruto where Sakura Picks some apples for Sasuke when he's at the hospital. She peels them for him and cuts them up to give or feedthem to him.Sasuke knocks them away and they fly all over the place. Sasuke asked Naruto to fight him then asked him to follow him upstairs. While walking out he stomped all over the apples. WhichI got REALLY mad at!)

**KABOOOM**

Sakura: Knocks down the cliff behind Sasuke She than quickly moves to interrogate him facing him less than an inch away from him Would you like to repeat yourself?

Sasuke: W-w-what was that?

Naruto: that's you apple cutter.

Sakura: I like em in little pieces

Sasuke: I hate to repeat myself-

Naruto: yeah right.

Sasuke:- I do NOT have any desire to fight you.

Naruto: Wow I must look pretty hot.

Sakura: It seems all this time to catch up with your feminine side has made you a little to soft. We'll you can take that Sakura damsel in distress image...AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!

Sakura: (_throws a punch pushing in back than barring him under the rubble of the cliff)_

Sakura: You badmouthed me, you slapped me, you rejected me repeatedly, you hit me at my love confession, but stepping on my apple? THAT was the LAST straw Amphibian girl! And now your gonna see Sakura's cute side...

Naruto: Its Amphibian Girl the Crossdresser VS Sakura-Chan the rampaging apple cutter!

Sakura: don't start with me Naruto...

Naruto: Um, sorry, I meant Sakura-Chan the rampaging medical-nin!

Sasuke: Uggh... Growl

Sakura: Quite growling you freaking duck!

Sasuke: Naruto! Why won't you fight me!

Naruto: I told you already-

Sasuke: I want a real reason!

Naruto: That was the truth.

Sasuke: Your brain SHRUNK over time

Naruto: and your chest GREW over time

Sasuke: It did not! I am a man!

Sakura: aw, she's confused her own gender.

Naruto: now look who's stupid.

Sasuke: I am a ninja Genius!

Sakura: Prove it.

Sasuke: Why should I have to prove it to the likes of you?

Sakura: Well if you truly are a "Ninja Genius" then you can TRULY beatthe crapout of me-which I highly doubt will happen-or maybe even kill me.

Sasuke: Fine, since you really want to I will fight you but I'll finish this quickly

Sakura: I wanna have some fun with you so your death might not come as fast as you want it to Amphibian Girl but I assure you, it will come.

Naruto: (_Holding up a Giant Hand glove that (you'd see at a baseball game) says Sakura-Chan is #1! And waving a flag with Sakura's face on it_) GO GO SAKURA-CHAN!

**Sakura and Sasuke begin to fight relentlessly. Sakura throwing freakishly strong punches and Sasuke running away like a bunny with webbed feet**

Sasuke: (Is thinking) _What is this strength? I can't get near her!_

Sakura: o0 but Amphibian Girl. You told us that your power had grown? Now I'm going to explain the difference between grown and shrunk. Grown means your better then before, shrunk, is the way you're fighting right now.

Sasuke: It seems that this is no joke any more...

Sakura: Maybe to you duck, but I'm getting bored.(sarcastically) If you try fighting seriously then maybe you can actually _fight_ me!

Sasuke: Shut up, I don't need advice from you

Sakura: I'm just suggesting cuz if I get bored I might have to skip a few steps and kill you right away.

Naruto: Oye Oye! Amphibian Girl!

Sasuke: Turns his head towards Naruto

Naruto: Do you have any Ramen? I'm hungry.

Sasuke: (_Falls flat on his head so you can see all for of his legs point towards the sky)_

Sakura: Naruto! Stop thinking about food for a second will you!

Naruto: ok...1...Brain is back on food

Sasuke: You mean your stomach. Your BRAIN passed away a long time ago you dropout.

Naruto: Who invited you into this conversation eavesdropper? I think I should get an alarm system in my apartment, who knows who he's going to hire to stalk me, I mean really Sasuke, I know I'm not ugly but you have Itachi and Orochimaru to obsess over. Or if you want a male duck, but for lord ducks sake leave me alone.

Sasuke: I do not Obsess over Orochimaru-Sama or that bastard Itachi. I told you that already and why the hell would I want to stalk you?

Naruto: I said HIRE people to stalk me. You would stand out in a crowd with webbed feet on your back.

Sasuke: Noisy Bastard! (_begins running towards Naruto as he chews on a Animal Cracker, I duck to be exact)_

Sakura: (_Jumps in from of him)_ Make out time is later.

Sasuke: I'm going to kill him not make out with him!

Sakura: Same difference.

Sasuke: Is NOT!

Sakura: is not what? (Trying to confuse him)

Sasuke: The same difference!

Sakura: What do you mean? The same difference of what?

Sasuke: Do I have to explain everything now?

Sakura: Why not?

Sasuke: Because I don't have time!

Sakura: What? Do you have a prior engagement with another duck friend of yours?

Sasuke: I do not have a duck friend.

Sakura: Then with who?

Sasuke: No one I'm not going to see anyone!

Sakura: Then why don't you have time?

Sasuke: Because...

Sakura: Because...?

Sasuke: I have my reasons now back off and let me through!

Sakura: But Amphibian Girl I don't want to, you'll make me sad.

Sasuke: Shut up! Now let me though or I'll slap that pretty face of yours!

Sakura: Make up your mind. men or women? You have to pick one, you'll never get both. Plus many people-including Itachi- would find that very revolting.

Sasuke: I don't care what Itachi thinks about me right now.

Sakura: Aha, right now, but later you'll hit yourself in the head.

Sasuke: I don't care what he thinks. Not now, not ever!

Sakura: **Throws a punch at his face throwing him backwards, she then grabs him by the collar in the air and brutally kicks him the in stomach so hard that he chokes up some blood (pretty obvious eh?)**

Sasuke: You...(_cough)_

Sakura: hehehe

Sasuke: Sakura...

Sakura: what?

Sasuke: (_huff huff)_

Sakura: I don't like dog ducks.

Sasuke: (_Struggles to lift himself up off the ground_)

Sasuke: Fine Sakura, I'll fight you seriously...

Sakura: Now were getting somewhere. And after that I'll teach you you ABC's!

Naruto: That is if your not dead by then!

Now those of you who like this random script of a story thats really great and if you can or want to you could send me idea's for part 2 of Amphibian Girl. Those of you who have absalutly no sense of humor or are just in a bad mood please rampage your hatred for this story on you siblings or friends or parents or youself or even better, your pillow. Basically try and contain youself from writting a bad review. Iam ok with Contructive Criticism andI know I proably have some spelling mistakes (ask my teachers Iam not the best editor). But no cursing. o0 yeah and all those artist FanArt would be sooooo nice!;)

Constructive Criticism Only!


	2. The Duckly Light

Amphibian Girl 

Chapter II

We are now continuing the Amphibian Girl series after many months of preparing and mostly thinking. I know it took me a while to update but I'm not the best at updates or editing.

No offence to Orlando Bloom, I love him to but he likes dramatic stuff so I just had 2 stick him in there!

To Britney Spears...really I could have done 10 million trillion times worse to you but Sasuke was begging for the part. How can you deny a freaky fish some crap music?

We left off at Sakura preparing to beat the living hell (literally) out of Sasuke a.k.a. Amphibian Girl.

Sakura and Sasuke are now in a stand off 

Sasuke: Let's see if you can last more then a minute fighting against my great power.

Sakura: You have to be a NATRUALLY born female to be able to beat another girl that fast.

Sasuke: Who said females was superior when clearly the male structure is much more fit for fighting. You are here for cleaning that damn floor in the house your husband owns_...(laughs)_

Sakura: WHAT...?_ (Ground begins to shake violently as Sasuke continues to laugh)_

Sasuke: _(Webbed feet begin flapping preparing for battle)_

Sakura: _(Runs towards Sasuke with her fist out prepared for a hard hit.)_

Sasuke: _(P__repares to block but Sakura suddenly appears behind him._)

Sasuke: Huh

Sakura_:( WACK-A-MOLIE HES FLYING!)_

Naruto Ducks can fly?

Rock Lee: Well they do have wings...

Naruto: (_Spit up all his animal crackers which oddly consisted of foxes and ducks)_ Lee? What the hell are you doing here?

Lee: The fountain of youth sent me.

Naruto: Oh, Gai.

Lee: You catch on quickly Naruto-kun. It seems that that duck has gotten quite a beating from Sakura-san. Did it peck her or something?

Naruto: No actually that's Uchiha Sasuke. That ego freak with natural blue highlights.

Lee: Really? Isn't that a woman?

Naruto: He had a sex change.

Lee: Why on earth would she do that?

Naruto: We keep asking, all he's doing is quaking when we ask, or huffing, either way he's talking like a friggin animal. We renamed her Amphibian Girl. Like it?

Lee: Ah! It seems to fit him well! Amphibian Girl it shall be! Nice Guy Pose

Meanwhile Sakura is still beating up Amphibian Girl 

Lee: It seems that Sakura-san and Amphibian Girl are in a equal match.

Kyuubi: Idiot.

Lee: What did you call me?

Naruto: I didn't say anything! Although I do recognize the voice...IT WASN'T ME!

Lee: Then who was it? Where did it come from?

Naruto: I think cough up cough.

Lee: ...

Naruto: ...

Lee: AH I SEE!

Naruto: What? What was it?

Lee: The fountain of youth has finally answered my calls! _(Kneels down, bowing saying something about youthfulness and shiny teeth)_

Naruto: ...

Kyuubi: Wow! You think I really look that young?

Sasuke: OWWWWWWW!

Sakura: Ah that's the button!

Sasuke: THAT SURE AS HELL AIN'T NO BUTTON! NEVER HIT A MAN THERE!

Sakura: Man...?

Lee: What was that again? (Not the balls thing.)

Naruto: The fountain of youth!

Lee: Surly the fountain of youth would not sound so...ugly.

Kyuubi: U...g...l...y...

Naruto: Oh shit.

Lee: Where is that coming from?

Naruto: Loudspeakers?

Lee: Yes...that seems to be the only possibility at the moment...Whom art thou you beast who wonders in thy forest? (Translation: What's that ugly thing doing in my forest?)

Kyuubi: Thy forest? What kind of country do you come from?

Lee: I have traveled through and frau from Konoha, my home village!

Kyuubi: Jeez, you don't have to yell.

Naruto: Maybe if we stop talking he'll go away.

(Silence except for the sound of punches being thrown in the background.)

Kyuubi: Lalalala I love people guts Lalalala...

Lee: It didn't go away!

Naruto: Is that my fault?

**Meanwhile...**

Sakura: Sasuke you don't seem to be giving me all that power and kick butt you promised.

Sasuke: Surly you do not think of this as my full potential? No, I'm afraid you will never live to see that side of me...your too nice for that.

Sakura: Nice? You think I'm nice?

Sasuke: What else would you call yourself.

Sakura: You stepped on my apples...

Sasuke: I don't even remember that.

Sakura: You...don't...remember...? (Glaring, her face turning an odd shade of purple...or green, can't really tell.)

Sasuke: Yes, don't make me repeat myself, it's bad for my health.

Sakura: You...don't...remember...stepping...on...my...APPLES...!

Sasuke: Yes, see unlike you women I tend to forget trivial things such as "stepping on an apple" and tend to remember bigger things such as...oh lets see...power? Which men are more capable of controlling unlike you baby making machines.

Sakura: _(Purple/green is now becoming a colour unknown to any human, animal or paranormal species.)_

Sasuke: Have I hit you "button" Sakura?

Sports Commentator: In the next instant she is up at Sasuke's face pulling his tongue out...but wait...not through is mouth! Oh holy sushi it's though his nose!

Sakura: Oh look it is possible to make someone suffocate themselves by pulling their tongue through their nose!

Sasuke: (Grabbing throat and rolling around on the ground like a fish on land...oh wait...he is.)

Sports Commentator: Oh jeez Louise it's chicken in water! Or should I say a Platypus/Duck/Salmon/ all other water animals on land! It's like watching the discovery channel! Ah those were the days...

Sakura: _(Stops Sasuke by stepping on his chest and breaking a few ribs) _

Sakura: _(Evil cackle)_

**Then all of a sudden a perfectly rounded boulder falls off a cliff right in Sakura and Sasuke's direction. **

Sakura: Damn! It's just like in episode 158, part of the filler crap! Stupid bastards are gonna pay! Believe it!

Dubbed Naruto: Hey! That's my line!

Naruto: Shut up ya goodie-two-shoes!

Dubbed Naruto: I am not a goodie-two-shoes!

Dubbed Sasuke: (In over dramatic way) I shall get revenge one that one man...

Orlando Bloom: And thy shall parish in thy land (Makes out with random "hot" girl who's got long hair and is taller then him)

Dubbed Sasuke: Shit he stole my over-dramaticacy!

Lee: Have you forgotten about the boulder?

Sakura: No, but usually in anime, people have a nice little conversation before the boulder actually starts moving at a normal speed or some other random thing falling right at them.

Lee: Oh I see, so when this conversation is over the boulder will fall and we shall die?

Sakura: No we miraculously escape and thank the boulder for moving slowly for us.

Dubbed Naruto: Believe it!

Naruto: Oh shit! Look its another perfectly rounded boulder moving in the exact same direction as the other one!

Lee: And there is another perfectly egg shaped one right on the tip that wobbling!

Sakura: RUN EVEYONE! Sasuke, stay. Good ducky!

Sasuke: _(Growl)_

Dubbed Naruto: Shut up! You're beginning to annoy me! And that's pretty hard you know!

**Boulder falls and ends up crushing the dubbed Naruto because he was to busy reciting different ways to say "Believe it"**

Kyubi: Holy hell, am I really stuck in that kid in the English?

Naruto: HA! Now you shall finally learn how to appreciate me!

Kyubi: ...Actually being dead would be a lot nicer then this, even if I was stuck in that God of Death's stomach with Yondai-poo.

Lee: Naruto...

Naruto: Yeah?

Lee: Did you say Yondai-poo?

Naruto: No.

Lee: Then who did?

Naruto: "Believe it."

Dubbed Naruto: Help! I am being crushed by the dying weight of these boulders but I am showing no sign of struggle or pain because I'm not allowed to bleed due to crappy editing and crappy re-animation!

Sasuke: (Choke)...(Bleed)...

Sakura:. Really Sasuke, I expected more from an Amphibian Girl.

Sasuke: Oh really? (Big Duckly light emits from his body)

Lee: The Holy fountain of youth!

Naruto: (Singing) Animal crackers in my soup...

Dubbed Naruto: Oh by golly!

Dubbed Sasuke: Must kill...must avenge Barbie...

Sakura: There's something called a washroom ya know!

Kyuubi: I never liked fish...

**Light then begins to die off, as Sasuke now seems to be completely heeled of all his wounds. Even his tongue is back in its normal position.**

Sasuke: (Punches the hell out of Sakura)

Lee: Sakura-san!

Dubbed Naruto: Oh no! To much blood! Must...edit...!

Sasuke: (Laughs Maniacally)

Sakura: Your dead!

Sasuke: I see you looking at me like I'm some kinda freak Like I got what you need, why don't you do somtin?

Sakura:...

Sasuke: Opps (Blush)

Dubbed Naruto: Learn your grammar young man!

Dubbed Sasuke: I LIKE IT!

Naruto: What the hell...

Lee: Oh she bangs! (Incase anyone forgot, that was William Hung)

Sakura: Britney?

Sasuke: I DID NOT! (Pupils appear) (GRRRRRRRRRRRROWL!)

**He then does some Ninja crap to Sakura and she ends up on the ground, obviously she has fainted due to lack of testosterone.**

Sasuke: Who's next? (Sounding like an old lady)

**Sports Commentator: What will happen to Sakura? And if she doesn't wake up...who will fight her next? Next time on the "Please be patient I'm slow at updates" chapter of Amphibian Girl...BELIEVE IT!(It pains my fingers to type that)**


End file.
